The rest of your life?

(written in 2008)

left, me in 1997; right me in 2010

While flipping channels, there was one show where some dork was talking about his wife and how when he first met her, he knew this was the woman that he'd be with for the "rest of his life". That got me thinking, how the hell do you know you'll love or be something for the rest of your life when you haven't lived the rest of your life yet? I see a lot of people say they'll love someone for the rest of their life but then after a month or even a week they break up. There were times when I said "I can eat this for the rest of my life" or "I could listen to this band for the rest of my life", next thing you know I'm eating something else or I'm listening to some other band. Just got sick of the food, just got sick of the band..that's all I can say.

Back when I was in middle school I was huge on hip hop and thought I'd be into hip hop for life, come high school I don't even own a single hip hop cd and even get embarrassed that I was actually into shit like Rappin-4-tay, Richie Rich, Luniz, etc (wow, I'm surprised I even remember some of those rappers). I used to collect toys throughout my childhood and teens year, kept them as perfect as possible in their package cause I thought I would grow old with the junk, come college I hate all that bullshit and sold (practically gave away) everything on ebay. Ghost Rider used to be my all time favorite comic character, now I can't fucking stand Marvel comics. When I was a catholic in like the 1st grade, I said I'd love God forever, now I don't even believe in God. Grunge, I loved it, then hated it, now love it again. People that said we'd be "best friends forever" just disappear and I doubt we'd even recognize each other if we ever cross paths again. On the other hand, people I hated so much in high school and swore to never forgive are on good terms with me now and we laugh at some of the silly feelings we had before.

I'm really indecisive with what to do with my life when it comes to making a living (although when I was a kid I wanted to be a comic artist for Marvel and back in high school I wanted to be a wrestler, wow I was retarded). I look at potential careers but then I say "nah, can't see myself doing this for the rest of my life" (especially business or medical careers, I always say I'd get bored and commit suicide if I became an accountant or depressed and commit suicide if I became a surgeon). I know I can be any of those things if I put my efforts in them and had the patience, but I just keep going for the short-term gratification of seeing a cool porno or drawing something strange to amuse myself as time passes.

I can see myself jumping from one menial general labor job to the next, but can't see myself anchored to one profession that I would invest so many years into getting. But who knows, maybe I'll want to be an accountant or surgeon when I get more serious in life? In my observation of my own life, things changed more often than they stayed the same. Seems like people just say the "rest of your life" thing most of the time cause they're just caught in the moment.. From now on, I will never claim to say I'd like or be something for the rest of my life because it's so easy to get sick of something and opinions can change as fast as they were created. Wait, maybe my claim of refusing to say I'd like or be something for the rest of my life is just me talking in the heat of the moment? Whatever, I think too much cause of tv, who said tv makes your brain lazy?

I hate alcohol, coffee, and probably you

Written in 2007

Me caught in my drinky mood which is usually Halloween

(note: I really have a weird relationship with alcohol where I either love or hate everything about it depending on my mood or the people I’m around (I can go from being a Straight Edge douche to Barney Gumble...although never as drunk as Barney). My life with alcohol is kinda like the relationship of my parents where one minute they’ll be fighting, then suddenly fucking, and then fighting again”. This rant just finds me in my “straight edge” mood. Nothing is really forever and the only real guarantee anyone can ever make is to die one day, so whatever, moods come and go and life always changes, isn’t that what makes it worth living? Can’t be doing and thinking the same exact shit for every second of your life…Coffee on the other hand, I’ve been pretty consistent over hating that shit)

I just don't get it. Alcohol tastes like gasoline mixed with piss, fucks up your body, and makes you act like a fucking retard, yet people always glorify it. It's the "life of a party". Well, parties usually suck. If your mouth isn't a bull's anus and you hate shitty pop/rap/r&b music, then there's really nothing much left to do at parties. Just stand around and try to look important while holding a drink. Hmm, I guess that's why you gotta drink to "enjoy" a party. You have to make yourself so drunk that you can't even realize how much parties suck ass. I also guess that's why I'm only a "social" drinker as I only drink whenever I'm around people just to numb myself to the fact that their lame existence coincides with mines.

I miss being a kid cause parties used to be cool. Parties were all about pizza, cake, ice cream, lazer tag, and beating up midget clowns trying to provide for their kids by getting their asses kicked by somebody else's kids. When you get older most parties you get invited to are so boring, it's all about over-priced drinks in a club and bullshitting with bullshit people for the sake of social status and networking with a bunch of phonies or to just get laid by some snotty whore that tries to look too cool to talk to anyone until she's filled up with liquor and drops the panties for whatever drunk idiot guy has the best careers and vomits the least on her expensive dress.

I used to be antisocial cause I had no choice; I was an obese shy little video game addicted loser throughout my childhood and early teens. Now that I'm none of those things and gave "socializing" a lot of chances (yeah I've given it chances to be fair), I still am antisocial, probably even more antisocial than ever! I'm the type of guy that only goes to parties if there's going to be food and goes to shows just for the music and to mosh (it's the closest thing I get to beating someone's ass legally). I'm a simple man, after a day of crappy work I just want to eat, sleep, shit, jerkoff, and work on some noise compositions or crayon doodles when I'm not busy watching sitcom re-runs while lifting weights to relieve stress from being subjected to the stupid commercials.

I hate those people that just stand around at shows drinking and talking to some dumb fashion whore slut, while ignoring the music all together. I've been to shows where the stupid drunks were louder than the actual band and you couldn't even hear the music cause the stupid drunks just kept yakking about something not worth caring about. Sure the bands drink too sometimes, but whatever, as long as they can deliver the music is all I care about. I've seen some bands before that were so drunk that they couldn't even play their shit right. Am I the only one that still thinks shows and concerts should be about the music, not the fucking alcohol? You can get alcohol whenever all year long. Getting live music from a decent band at your local club is not something that happens often so quit fucking up my experience by getting drunk and not being able to shut the hell up when the music starts.

Coffee is another drink I can't stand. I just hate that taste. Whenever I drink a cup of coffee, it feels like someone took a hot dump in my mouth to make my tongue marinade in some sort of bitter, chalky, fecal fluid. Sometimes there'll be a hot chick that'll say "lets grab a cup of coffee some time". No matter how hot the chick is, I have a knee jerk reaction to say, "oh I don't drink coffee". Yeah, I've blown it a million times but fuck it! If the chick were really meant to be with me, she would have cut the coffee-bullshit and went straight to giving me a nice sloppy blowjob. I think a lot of people don't even really like coffee and just buy it for fashion. I have to clean an entire parking garage as part of my job and every fucking day, no matter what time of the day it is, there are cups of coffee just left sitting in the garage with literally only like 2 or 3 sips taken from it. Emptying trash cans on the street daily is another thing I do and every fucking day the bags are full of coffee. You'd think people would drink every drop of overpriced Starbucks coffee but most people just take a sip and throw the rest of the shit out. Maybe people are so retarded that they forget how coffee tastes like every morning so every morning they have to remind themselves about how much coffee sucks for some reason. That would explain why they buy it every morning only drinking a small taste of it then throwing out the whole thing so that garbage bags overfill with oceans of coffee daily. Some people say they drink coffee to "wake up". Uh, well you sure didn't drink, let alone buy, that damn coffee in your sleep. The whole thing about caffeine giving you a boost or whatever seems like just some bullshit placebo effect. Back in my college days, I used to have a really boring political/pretentious art film class featuring many cinematic equivalents of sleeping pills so I used to drink a bunch of energy drinks (high in caffeine) during these films and I STILL fell asleep. Either caffeine is useless or those movies just plain sucked and could put anyone to sleep. Meh, I wouldn't be surprised if both were true though.

Well anyways, coffee and alcohol seem to be drinks people use to socialize with. I'm like allergic to socializing so my disgust over such beverages is not exactly something that puts me in conflict. Fuck alcohol, fuck coffee, and fuck everybody in general. Fuck everything. In fact, fuck writing this rant! What the hell was I thinking when I wrote this? It's like I assumed people would care about my trivial thoughts that are misanthropic in nature, hence why I had to materialize my thoughts through the alphabet in order for them to be contemplated by something other than my own cognitive activity. What the hell is anyone thinking when they do anything? Did they think they were doing something to benefit society? Why the hell does society need benefiting anyways? Society always has problems. I used to have a car that had problems and I just abandoned it. Abandoning society would be a good idea.

Bottled Water represents everything wrong with society

"Okay, we can't live without spunk, you got us...but we sure as fuck can live without bullshit bottled water."

I always see a recycling bin full of those damn water bottles. From schools, to offices, to parks, to houses, there's a bin full of those wastes of plastics. At some apartment buildings I work at, the recycling bins are overfilling with that crap on a daily basis. I could somewhat understand people buying bottled water for when they're on the go, but at your home where there's water that's practically free, you don't need to stock up on bottled water and go through a case every fucking day while you stay home (staying home and drinking bottled water, am I the only one that sees how retarded this is? I can picture someone just drinking a bottle of water right in front of their fully functional kitchen sink....meanwhile people in third world countries would kill just to have clean running water that idiot Americans have but don't take advantage of cause the water isn't packaged and advertised to them enough, gawd forbid you drink water that wasn't sold to you in a containter, ugh).

"But they're recycling so what should it matter if there's so many water bottles?," you say. Recycling is so overrated, it still fucks the environment over due to a lot of processes and materials involved to get recycling started. TRUCKS that cause pollution pick up all that recycled junk for chrissakes, you can try to bitch about car pollution being a bigger problem to bitch about but it's much easier to stop drinking bottled water than to invent a dependable, affordable, clean alternative energy source isn't it? If you can't do something simple, how do you expect to change ANYTHING? Lets also not forget all the processes and wasted resources used to make those precious plastic bottles to begin with.

The answer is not recycling. Recycling is just a way for people to pat themselves on the back as if they're doing the world such a big favor after fucking it over. Here's a bright idea, why not just have NOTHING TO RECYCLE TO BEGIN WITH? Just drink tapwater from one of your glasses. "But tapwater is disgusting and dirty," you say. That's funny cause tapwater actually has higher standards than bottled water due to the government's scrutiny of it and do you really think bottled water is shipped straight from the lakes of heaven as God mixes some fresh batches of hydrogen and oxygen together? There have even been blind taste tests where some people preferred the taste of tapwater over bottled water, although most people didn't even taste much of a difference. And if tapwater was so dirty, why the hell do you bathe yourself in it? That ain't bottled water coming from your shower is it?

We're in a mindless consumer-driven society where people feel insecure and displease if they didn't purchase something packaged and overhyped. And bottled water is one of those things to purchase. Corporations make bottled water look like some sort of magical and pure elixir. They dress it up in all these stylish bottles and slap a name that sounds like some refreshing mountain forest place (Crystal Geiser, Arrowhead, Deep River Rock, etc) or just plain metrosexual (Dasani,what the fuck is a Dasani?). They must get the same creative team that cooks up metrosexual names for fancy cars and contrived shampoo scents like "Spring Shower Passion".

Can't really put all the blame on the corporations though, they're just trying to take advantage of everyone's stupidity to make money (isn't that what we all do in this capitalist country?). I blame the moronic consumers for this the most. How can you be so fucking stupid that you rely on buying bottled water to live? Water is such a primal need of all life forms, it's ridiculous knowing your life directly depends on corporations having to bottle and then sell to you what you life depends on regularly. I hope every brand of bottled water goes extinct so I can see you all die of thirst….why are there so many different brands of bottled water anyways, do particular brands have water that tastes more like water than the water of the other water company? Who has the most watery tasting water? Oh wait, maybe water tastes like what the brand names are. Like Crystal Geiser tastes like a bunch of crystals, Arrowhead has an arrowheady taste to it, and Dasani…uhh, Dasani tastes like whatever the fuck a Dasani is.

Well if my short rant didn't convince you about bottled water representing everything wrong with society (the manipulative corporations and stupid people), check out this site, which has a wealth of knowledge that should shut you bottled water drinkers up.

http://www.bottledwaterblues.com/

Sports are boring, useless, overrated, and retarded.

My dad was watching a football game and besides countless advertisements, I'd hear the announcer's voice. I just realized how pointless to society their job is. They just talk either about a ball moving on a grass field or the guy moving the ball as if we should give a shit he's moving the ball. It's ridiculous how much value is put into such a trivial action. Do people who consider NFL/NBA/MLB/etc a way of life even realize their precious games are just an excuse to attract idiots to a billboard saturated arena or beer-ad filled television? You can say the same about other television shows being a mere means for assaulting viewers with consecutive advertisements, but at least some tv shows tackle real issues that directly affect your life. What does sports do? There's all this unnecessary importance invested into the movement of a ball, a fucking ball. There is no other practical reason to care where the ball is moving. Every value put into the game is arbitrary. It's ridiculous how this movement of a ball is so glorified that it has become a multi-million dollar industry. Also ridiculous is how much respect the ball-movers get. Someone will buy a piece of shit shoe just cause Michael Jordan endorses it. Jordan should do the world a favor and endorse wrist slicing, we'd have a lot less idiots wasting oxygen on earth.

I don't hate sports (in fact I play b-ball just for fun), but I hate "sports culture". And I actually wouldn't mind sports culture if it wasn't saturating and dumbing down people just so they can be primed up to buy beer and overpriced shoes. Sports is EVERYWHERE and here's some of its negative impact:

-A huge chunk of the news and newspapers are devoted to retarded scores instead of important issues.

- People start stupid brawls over their favorite teams and start acting like drunk rowdy assholes over something so trivial.

-Delusional ghetto kids will play basketball like their lives depended on it in hopes of being that one in a million NBA superstar instead of concentrating on studies (schools require athletes to keep good grades to stay in the team but kids end up cheating on tests and homework).

-Cool shows on tv are cancelled to show some dumb game and even if the game is done, they still have to talk about the dumb game in a program of its own (WHY?!?!?! Haven't we seen enough of the game ENOUGH???? What more is there to add that it has to cancel Simpsons?...well it used to piss me off back in the early 90's when Simpsons was still cool, but now Simpsons suck so I don't really care anymore, but still the principle of having to knock a show out of its regular schedule just to review the game, what in the fuck is the point of going over the game again, some team won because they scored more than the other team, THAT'S IT, THE END)

-Traffic is caused by games all the morons rush to or go home from (gah! the traffic kills me the most)

-Stadiums occupy space that could have been used for something more useful (hell, the parking lot alone for these useless stadiums can be a school).

I hate how people assume sports is on everyone's mind as if it's more important than politics. People try to start small talk with me either about the weather or sports. They say dumbshit like "nice weather we're having, don't you think?" or "you see the game?" . Well of course I know the weather is nice you dimwit, I'm on the same planet. But no, I did not see the game. Why, was my life at stake? Oh did the home team win? Yippy! Who fucking cares if this or that team wins, it doesn't do shit for my life. Yet society worships these ball-movers as if they made such great contributions to the world by being an overpaid walking advertisement for Nike and Budweiser. I hate how people can't believe someone is not into watching sports. One guy asked me once "who's your favorite team?", I said I had none, and he's like "WHAT?!?!? how is that possible, everyone's got a favorite team". Ugh, it's as if there's something wrong with you if you don't keep track of the petty competition of grown men chasing after a ball like retards. Oh my God, Jeff Garcia threw a ball and some guy bumped into him.....yeah it's really entertaining to watch a grown man try to achieve a pointless goal. Why should I fucking care about Jeff Garcia or any other ballmover? You think they care about me? Maybe if he shoves that ball up his ass and gets decapitated by a helicopter, I'd watch sports.I hope all these "superstars" OD on steroids and die. Their funerals would make better entertainment than their worthless ballgames. I bet someone is gonna say, "fuck you, you're just a wimpy jealous nerd that sucks at sports"

Doesn't matter if I was some wimpy nerd or buff motherfucker, the sports culture still fucking sucks and is useless to society regardless of how I or you look.

Now I bet someone is going to say "fuck you, athletes donate money". Well it's the least those overpaid dickheads could do. They should feel guilty being paid millions to play a game kids play for free while a fast food cashier or janitor (people more useful and relevant) gets nothing.

Whatever happened to natural selection?

So there’s some skate park I heard my little brother and his skater friends bitching about cause they’re not allowed to skate there unless they have a helmet. I support these skaters that want to skate without a helmet, not cause I’m some fellow skateboard rebel, but because I am a firm supporter of natural selection. For billions of years, it used to be that if a life form sucked or was stupid, it would simply die off for their and the universe’s own good. Fast-forward to our modern society and natural selection is simply no more. The government has to interfere with too many aspects of everyone’s insignificant lives. A lot of people that should be dead, still alive, not because they’re bright enough to figure out how to survive but because the government is stupid enough to protect them. If a skater is too stupid to protect his head, maybe it's cause there's nothing in it to begin with. Let him die off from a head injury if that's the consequence his choice warrants. This leads me to another thing. Seat belts. Why the hell should someone get punished for not wearing a safety belt? If anything, we should be thanking these drivers for endangering their own lives, thus decreasing the driver population in the world. I figure, the less drivers we have, the more parking we get. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, parking is our society’s most frustrating problem. It’s like the toppings on a Pizza Hut pizza. THERE’S NEVER ENOUGH DAMNIT!

How hard is it to put on a fucking belt anyways, if you’re too stupid to figure out you need to put one on to increase your chances of survival and you need the law to force your dumbass to use one, you shouldn’t even be fit to breathe, let alone be driving a car. That reminds me, now I see cigarette boxes that say SMOKING KILLS. I’m gonna assume again the government was behind this. Are there really people that dimwitted that they need the government to state the common sense (or at least SHOULD be common sense by now) that smoking kills? Whoa, “SMOKING KILLS”? No shit? What other breaking news is there, “WATER WET”? Do we need another Ted Bundy or Columbine to compensate for all the stupid lives saved from the lack of natural selection in our retard society?

Oh sure, you could argue that seat belt and helmet laws are really for everyone’s benefit since there’s a chance that us taxpayers would be picking up the tab for the medical costs of a skater with a cracked skull or driver with a face smashed on his steering wheel, thus prevention through enforcing rules is the greater good for all. Well again, natural selection should be taking place. Let them die off if they have to burden taxpayers. It’s their own asses that got them in that mess, should be their own asses that gets them out of it as well, not my money. Taxes shouldn’t be used to interfere with natural selection.

I don't relate to my relatives

(from 2007) After being forced to meet up with a couple relatives a while ago I've come to the conclusion I am not really related to any of them. If it weren't for the same blood running under our skin, we'd be complete apathetic strangers to each other if we ever met. Now due to unfortunate circumstances of falling out the wrong cunt and being formed by the wrong jizz, I'm now obligated to put up with all the dumb bullshit of these so-called "relatives". All my relatives suck, I can't even "relate" to them cause they're all into lame garbage. Why do they call them relatives if you can't even "relate" to them? They'll brag about their money or careers, brag about liking diverse music because they like r&b and emo (oh my gawd, you like r&b AND emo, you are the most cultured and creative unique individual ever), and they're deeply religious (ugh, I got a Born Again Christian Aunt, I hope she's "born again" when I kill her, so I could have the satisfaction of disemboweling the bitch more than once). Houses are a big topic with relatives too. When they realize they can't shut the fuck up about how much money they make, or their fancy careers, or their expensive cars, or how great their God is, they will talk about their houses. They always go on and on about the size of their house as if they were bragging about the size of their dick. Their houses are shit though. What does it matter how big their house is; it's the same boring status-quo assholes living in it with the typical furniture and big useless TV. It's useless because all that TV is used for is "the big game" or some worthless Matt Damon movie. Those people are rarely in their home anyways. They're too busy working and being phonies somewhere else to pay for the damn houses. It doesn't matter where you live; it's what you do where you live. If I had a mansion, I'd probably just end up jerking off to the same porn sluts, drawing with the same pen on the same kind of paper, and lifting the same weights as I listen to the same pissed-off music. It's all the same shit I do in my small apartment. Doesn't matter where I live, I will do that shit wherever I can until I die so fuck your overrated mansions where all you have is a bigger place to be miserable. My relatives can go fuck themselves in their stupid big houses. Their houses mean nothing to me just like their obnoxious social gatherings I avoid and everything else they own or "accomplished". They remind me of most people. I hate people, relatives are no exception.
The bitch that I fell out of always wishes I could be "successful" like my cousins. She thinks they're "successful" because of how much they brag about the typical job/car/faith/house/marriage bullshit. But they're all losers in my eyes. They're all just living a boring generic secure life that a million other dispensable yuppie shitheads have. All their obituaries end up being the same except with an interchangeable name. I don't even remember half my cousins! I never get their names right or know which cousin is from which uncle or aunt cause I don't even remember my aunts or uncles either, and I really don't care. All I know is I got a bunch of relatives and share nothing in common with those dorks. My mother is just a sucker, always thinking the grass is greener on the other side, wishing she was as "successful" as them. Sure I'm a loser too, but I don't try to hide that fact by devoting my existence to being a derivative American asshole that creates social gatherings as an excuse to brag and because "it's what families do".

Jesus Christ, the symbol of white supremacy

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

3 types of Drivers that piss me off

Green means go, red means stop. Drive at the posted speed limit. Are these not such basic concepts? Leave it to humanity to fuck it up though, like how they fucked up the air we breathe and the food we eat it. You don't really know how stupid the human race is until you witness the driving errors of this moronic species of life I am sometimes embarrassed to be a part of. If I could choose to be a new form of life, I'd be anything but a human. But anyways, here are my top 3 kinds of drivers that piss me off.

1. The "I can't tell the difference between a solid and broken line and I'm allergic to signaling" driver. I hate when I'm just minding my own business on the road and assume everyone knows how a solid line looks. I'll be going my merry way when suddenly some jackass starts merging dangerously close to me before the solid line on the freeway turns broken a couple more hundred feet ahead. If you're going to pull this nonsense off in front of me, at least SIGNAL, dipshit. Seems like the act of signaling is something they're allergic to. Or perhaps these shitty drivers think everyone else on the road is a psychic and can predict his/her/its retarded lane changing. Well, I'm no psychic, but I sure as hell can predict these fuckers are gonna one day get mangled in a horrible freak accident if they keep up with this bullshit driving.

2. The "I'm too important to waste 10 seconds of my life stopped behind you as you let cars/pedestrians/anyone-with-the-right-of-way go through first, so I'm going to drive around you and speed like an asshole" driver. This has happened before, I've let people cross the street or cars on a green light go (it's usually when you're on a red light in the right turn lane that these fuckers are in a hurry, as if you're not suppose to stop at all on red when you're in the right turn lane). Suddenly some dickhead behind me will start honking their horns like their lives depended on it. When they figure I won't budge no matter how many times they curse and honk their horn, they try to drive around me...which is just an accident waiting to happen (in fact someone did almost get in an accident from pulling off this shit). If I'm stopped, most likely there is a good reason why I'm stopped you idiot. Too bad the fucking impatient idiot behind me thinks people just stop for no real reason and is in a rush so drives around and almost runs over the person I was letting cross or almost gets hit by the cars (with the right of way) I was letting pass. These people always rushing, don't they realize they're just rushing to an early grave?

3. The "There's a lot of parking further down a little but I'm too lazy to walk 3 feet to the store so I'm going to wait for someone with a close parking to move, even if it means I'm going to create a huge traffic jam". Usually you'll find these morons in the parking lots of Targets or Costcos. To them, walking is their Achilles heel. I've managed to avoid these people cause I know the parking lots pretty well at Target and Costco so they're not really a problem for me now, but when I was a newb driver nearly a decade ago, these people would always screw me over. It would actually take longer to wait for these dumbasses to finally get their geographically perfect parking than to actually shop...especially during Christma$.

Well, there are more types of shitty drivers, but I'll stop there before my sanity starts slipping.

Changes that should be official now

(written back in 08 or 09)

-"Common sense" should be changed to "rare sense", cause it sure as hell isn't common among most people. Well maybe just here in America it should be changed. It's obvious sense is not very common in a country where the majority follow a cult that has a torture device as a symbol to worship, yet claim to be fighting for morality when they deny gays of their rights or are about ready to send a guy to prison for guy to prison for 20 years just for simply buying Japanese comics while the war criminals in the Dubya Administration get no punishment at all up to the end of their reign of terror.

-The M in MTV needs to stop meaning "Music" already, I've seen some good suggestions before like "Money" "Marketed", and my favorite "Moronic". "Moronic TV" is straight to the point.. MTV is the LAST place to find music. You can find more music in a dog's asshole than on whatever channel MTV is. The concept of MTV never entered my mind in years. I just felt like ripping on MTV cause some dope was telling me to "clean" my crappy 1-man band's music so I can be on MTV one day. First of all, I never planned to ever be on MTV and second, you have more chances at being on MTV if you're a drunk frat boy rather than a musician.

-I'm gonna start calling "Gift" Cards Burden Cards from now on cause they just force you to go to a specific establishment and then burden you into having to use every cent in the damn card before it expires (in CA they generally don't expire cause of the law but there are still technicalities that can make them able to expire). They're so pointless, you can just give money, that would save money and time on both sides. If you want me to buy coffee at Starbucks so much, don't give me a $20 Starbucks gift card, just give me a $20 bill and mention something about Starbucks when you hand it to me. Same principle is it not? My brother just gave me a $50 "gift" card for Shell, the gas station. I now have to waste gas to go all the way to Shell instead of going to the gas station that I pass regularly.

Burden Cards force you to spend more too. I still have a Burden Card from a year ago for McDonalds. Originally it had $15 on it. Now it has like $1 on it (had to find out the value of it by looking it up online, see with cash it's worth as much as you see, no bullshit about trying to find out how much is left on it). Anyways, the only way I can make use of it now is if I combine its remains with my own money because $1 gets you nothing. Ugh, I hate McDonalds to begin with too. What next, Blockbusters gift cards for blind people...Bacon Buffet gift cards for Jews?

There's also times when I get like a $20 Burden Card for Best Buy. There's nothing $20 or under I want from Best Buy. The only way I can make use of the card then is if I use my own money. So basically it's nothing more than a $20 off coupon. And like a coupon, it can expire sometimes.

Why the fuck do "Gift Cards" even have to expire, the piece of shit has already been paid for (the CA law should be all across the country). Evil bastard companies, getting money from idiots that buy gift cards and then hoping whoever receives the gift card gets killed in a horrible accident or kidnapped by terrorists before they ever get to use it, that way they get more profits in the end.

Hey wait, that gives me an idea. I'll start my own business and offer Gift Cards valued at $100 for only $99. What a bargain huh? I'll then devise a way so that customers are obligated to disclose the address and identity of whoever will be the receiver of that card. Once this information is obtained, my hired goons will make sure these receivers never get to use their precious cards mwhahahaha.

In conclusion, fuck Burden Cards. If whoever invented them is still alive, I'll buy him/her/it a "Gift" Card for a Casket cause they'll definitely need one when I get my hands on them.

- Most self-proclaimed "movie fans" should just be called "new/big budget/celebrity fans". Let me explain: After being subjected to the so-called "film buff" collection of my brother, which consists of such great timeless classics like Dark Knight, Iron Man, Hulk, Superman, Spiderman, Indiana Jones (latest one), and Transformers (live action), I just came to the realization that most people (aka typical mainstreamers) don't really like movies as an art like they say they do, they just like anything that looks expensive. In other words, they just like the budget, the celebrities, the "NEWness".

Seriously the concepts, plots, characters, of these mainstream action/adventure/superhero/videogame movies are all the cliché black and white morality, good vs evil bullshit where good always wins in the end. There's nothing inherent about those movie that make them the memorable profound films that they are hyped up to be. If these movies had the budget of lets say, a Troma or HG Lewis film, people would HATE this shit for looking so "cheap" and "tacky". There wouldn't really be a fanbase for films like Dark Knight or Iron Man (look at the first Punisher, it was hated cause it was a cheap b-movie).

They're only "good films" cause there was enough money to make a special effects bonanza with popular actors. Compare the first Fantastic Four (the forgotten one from the 90's) with the newer Fantastic Four, the old one is a "joke" but really the only core difference between the two are the budget for special effects, hot actors, and marketing. Other than that they're the same good vs evil bullshit. Hell, I GUARANTEE Ed Wood's films wouldn't be such a joke if he had the budget these big Hollywood movies have at their disposal. Uwe Boll films may be an exception to my "as long as it looks expensive enough people will watch it", but his stuff is still relatively low budget.

Basically mainstream movies don't connect to viewers and treat them as real thinking beings, rather they treat them as nothing more than mindless spectators of expensive explosions and bad guys getting beaten up in glossy fights. I'll watch a movie like Stroszek or Taxi Driver and the story/acting/angles/everything really sticks with me but shit like Spiderman, all I can say is "expensive CGI" and forget about the movie completely 5 seconds after the credits roll. My brain dumps it like it was a disposable diaper. It's the budget/celebrities/"newness" people like, not the actual movie. Meh, just an observation.

So this is what the human race has been reduced to…

Whenever I watch some program that features all kinds of cool looking animals on Discovery Channel, TLC, or whatever, I can’t stop but say to myself “of all the different forms of life in the universe, why couldn’t I be that!!”. If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I’d wanna be a Komodo Dragon. They just look pretty badass and can kill anything they want to eat. Kill to eat, eat to kill; it’s the way of life in nature. As a human, I do things I hate just to feed myself, like work. Pretty much most people do something they hate for a living so they can continue living. “Making a living at the cost of truly living” it seems like. Yep, people have to bullshit with people they can’t stand, wait for their paychecks, use whatever is left after taxes rape the fucking check, go to the store, shop for food, wait in line, get home only to find no parking within a reasonable walking distance to their kitchen, and then finally consume the food after going through all the stupid preparation. Bah, I wish I could just keep it simple like in nature; kill to eat, eat to kill..

Top reasons I wish I was gay

Money: If you’re a guy and ever given the opportunity to be a pornstar and a high paid escort..most likely your customers won’t be women. Well this was the case for me. True story. If only I was gay, I’d be making a fuckload of money doing something I would love. But no, I had to be a damn heterosexual, it was a challenge showing off my erection capabilities at the audition alone. That job would have sucked..LITERALLY…which would have been cool if I was into dudes.

Love: I dunno if it’s just my luck, but I just can’t relate to most women. I want a woman that enjoys death metal, steak umms, and watching Rocko’s Modern Life as much as me. Finding other guys into that shit is no problem. I always say, “damn it, if only the woman had a man’s brain”..then the concept of transsexuals come up and I wonder if it would be gay if I found a hot transsexual, y’know, one of those that got the surgery while they were young.

Oppression: Gay is the new black as far as Civil Rights go so being perverted and talking about my porn collection wouldn’t be a bad thing, it would be simply a struggle for sexual liberation if I was gay.

Get to call things Gay: Maybe I listen to too much Anal Cunt, but I still like calling things Gay when they suck. Like Origami, Ballet, and independent films. Those are GAY. I get called a homophobe for pointing out that fact. Now if I was a gay man and I called those things gay, I wouldn’t be a homophobe with anger problems, I’d be a homosexual with a sense of humor just like the blacks that say nigger.

Hello Kitty: I really like Hello Kitty stuff but I don’t own any of that stuff cause I’m afraid gay men will hit on me if I start putting the stickers on my guitar amp and book binders. Damn it, why the hell can’t there be an equivalent of a Hello Kitty for heterosexual males?!

The Black Genocide of America?

(originally written way back when this story was all you'd ever see on the news here in the Bay Area)

What do abortion and the police have in common? Apparently they are agents of a gigantic black genocide conspiracy.

Abortion: Margaret Sanger founded that vast abortion empire Planned Parenthood, specifically to stop blacks from reproducing. Never mind the fact that these days nobody is forcing anyone to have an abortion and all races are free to get an abortion. Apparently it’s racist for blacks to have the same freedom as anyone else from any other race, to abort.

Police: The police are programmed to kill black people. Yes, cops are responsible for all of the slayings of black people, even though black-on-black crime has a higher rate than white-on-black crime. Lets not show outrage over black victims if there were black killers. We’re suppose to show outrage only when a cop does it cause all cops are white and all whites are racist! Cops stereotype all blacks as thugs. This is not a stereotype it is fact because all cops are fascist pigs hellbent to see blacks go the way of the dinosaur.

The Oscar Grant story is the definitive example of this black genocide by the police. Apparently Oscar Grant, a black man and a loving father, was going to cure cancer and end war in the Middle East until one day Adolf Hitler reincarnated into a ruthless cop named Johannes Mehserle, shot him in the subway on New Years to help further the black genocide movement.

Sarcasm aside, I gotta say FUCK EVERYBODY in this case. Fuck Officer Mehserle for confusing his gun for his taser, Fuck Oscar Grant for causing shit to begin with to the point that cops had to intervene instead of being with his daughter that night (so much for a so-called good father), and most of all FUCK all these protestors, especially the violent ones that liked to brag about how they're fighting for justice by destroying the cars and stores of thousands of innocent people who had nothing to do with anything. Yeah that makes a lot of sense, show outrage over violence by causing even more of it.

Where were these protestors when innocent (REAL innocent people) were gunned down by thugs? Do we reserve outrage only when it’s a white guy killing a black guy? They’d rather have thugs terrorize cities instead of have cops that discipline these scum. I hear more about the alleged injustices of the police than of the gangsters yet when was the last time a cop ever pulled a knife out on you and took your wallet? Well, a gangster has done that to me before.

These protestors like to cry “Police Brutality” as if it’s a huge epidemic. Being a cop must really suck. One minute people are bitching about cops oppressing them and cry the cliché abuse of power/police brutality, the next minute they'll come crying to cops when shit happens and then start bitching about how the cops didn't do enough to prevent the crime in the first place. Cops are either evil or useless, whichever is most convenient to say at the moment. They’re "evil" when they try doing their job and "useless" when a crime occurs, as if the cops are suppose to be omnipotent beings that are everywhere 24-7.

People always like to say “oh that fucking pig gave me a ticket”. Funny how they forget to mention how they were speeding 80 miles over the posted speed limit while drunk. I’ve never had a problem with the cops. I guess I just have this weird concept of not doing any bad illegal shit and co-operating with police. The one time I was kinda “busted” by cops was when I was filming a bloody scene for a moving in some park. Concerned people thought there was a murder going on and naturally called the cops. Cop came, I told him what we were doing, he said “okay”, and that was it. Weird, where’s the part where the cop throws me on the ground headfirst. And then when I try to get up the cop charges me with resisting arrest while kicking me in the balls and fucking my eye socket with his gun? Oh right, I’m not black. Cops are programmed only to destroy blacks remember? Why aren’t black cops committing suicide then? That is a mystery.

http://www.ojp.gov/bjs/homicide/race.htm

http://www.racismeantiblanc.bizland.com/005/06-02.htm

old random nihilistic rant

(written in 2007-08???who cares??) I'm in that nihilistic mood again where everything just feels so pointless and motivation to do anything is fading. I've been contemplating about getting a job in the medical field cause my current job is getting real depressing with all the dumb, degrading, unappreciated bullshit I go through for a slightly above minimum wage paycheck. A few people that I disclosed my interest of going into the medical field to were like, "that's a great sacrifice in life man, your career is going to be your life because people's lives will depend on your job, think about it". I thought about it and as far as personal time, I came to the conclusion I wouldn't really be missing much there. I don't have many friends and no woman is willing to be my significant other so no personal time is no real loss. Besides watching tv and porn, making comics and music that will never amount to anything beyond some shit that sits in my house, is all I do in my personal time really. In the grand scheme of things, the world won’t be missing much if I gave those up in favor for a job as a doctor or surgeon. But hey, in the grand scheme of things, being a doctor or surgeon is just going to be a lucrative career for me to merely distract myself from how I don’t have much to live for. Sure I’d be helping a lot of people, but then my motives were selfish.

But then, being in that nihilistic mood, I did even more thinking, and wondered, “and then what?”. Yes, get a high paying job saving lives, “and then what?”. Blend in with the rest of society as a respected citizen…“and then what?”. What is the ultimate goal? I keep hearing about happiness but fuck happiness, people just get miserable trying to attain it. Whether through indulging in drugs for inner peace or competing in the rat race of capitalism for the almighty dollar, the lust for happiness will conflict with reality. The whole happiness argument for justifying the existence of life is an idiotic paradox. Maybe it’s just the nihilistic mood talking. Moods aren’t forever. Nothing is forever. Not your happiness or anything else all smiley faced and positive. It ends. But you also gotta remember, if nothing is forever, than the bad shit in life is no exception. Sure good feelings are finite, which is bad, but so are the bad ones, which is good. Right now I’m obviously in a shitty mood that could lead to suicide if I keep focusing on how pointless everything is. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow thinking the opposite just because of brain chemicals shifting or maybe something just happens to me while I’m walking on the street that distracts me from the pointlessness of life. Who knows? I don’t. I’m no fucking psychic, that’s why I don’t kill myself. Just have to wait out the bad shit and take your chances with something good happening, you never know.

TOO MANY PEOPLE

So, as usual, I was on a long hard quest for a parking space after a long hard day of stupid work. I asked myself, “why isn’t there EVER enough parking?” But then I realized something. The problem isn’t that there isn’t enough parking. No. The problem is there’s TOO MANY PEOPLE. Aren’t those 3 simple words (TOO MANY PEOPLE) the reason behind every serious problem facing society? Unemployment isn’t because there aren’t enough jobs; it’s because of TOO MANY PEOPLE. Pollution? Poverty? Waste? World Hunger? Riots? Viruses? Traffic? Long lines at the post office? Pathetic school system? Overcrowded Prisons? Christmas Shopping? Taxes? Parties that suck? Unfulfilled dreams in a competitive world? Never getting the classes I needed in college? Something cool being sold out? TOO MANY PEOPLE! How about the big one, War? You guessed it, TOO MANY PEOPLE! Think about it, every war in history has always been over land, and why do people need land? Whether for the land’s resources or for the land itself, it’s still to accommodate for TOO MANY PEOPLE! On the surface, war seems like it would actually be a solution to TOO MANY PEOPLE, but actually in the long run, after the war is over and the occupying forces finish raping the newly conquered land, it contributes to the TOO MANY PEOPLE problem.

My mother heard me talking to myself about problems and TOO MANY PEOPLE being synonymous. She bumped in and said “what about abortion?” I was like, “you idiot, that’s a SOLUTION, I’m talking about PROBLEMS. Then I started to shout, “You should have aborted me when you had the chance bitch”. That woman ruined my life by giving birth to me. Totally unforgivable.

Enough of my family drama, basically my point is, TOO MANY PEOPLE keep FUCKING UP EVERYTHING. I can’t ride the subway without being trampled by a crowd of piss-stenched human filth. I can’t play my music loud cause too many fucking people with brittle dollar-store glass eardrums live by me. I can’t reach some really hot escorts/whores cause they’re fully booked every time I wanna fuck them. I can’t take a piss wherever I want to whenever I please cause too many people are gonna bitch about it. I can’t drive without suddenly stopping cause too many people like to jaywalk. I can’t do my grocery in under an hour cause there’s too many people in front of me that take fucking forever (but then when it’s my turn to pay for my shit it just takes a second, what the hell?). There’s too many “I can’ts” cause of TOO MANY PEOPLE. People fuck up other people. I’m no exception to this cause I too am just another fucking human being. To other people I’m part of the “too many people” problem. I’m no better than anyone else and they’re no better than me. I’m just living to fuck people over cause they live to fuck me over. That’s how it is. That’s how it’s always going to be. Before I was born and after my death, too many people will fuck over too many people. Just the way life is: fuck everyone, fuck yourself, or just fuck it all and fuck off already before I make you fuck off.

The Meaning of Life..

..Is not here. It's not anywhere. Nobody could possibly know. Believe nobody if they ever say they know what it is. No one has the right to be the authority in saying they know what life is all about. Everybody is just a fellow evolved ape mortal that needs to take a shit everyday like everybody else. I am so tired of religious cults trying to tell me answers that nobody could verify. Fuckin scientologist. Some scientologist kept harassing me. He kept trying to sell me a book and I said I didn't have money. He didn't believe me though so he shoved me and called me a liar. That's when I punched him in the gut. He started crying then I ran away.

What should we do with life then? Beats me, how should I know? How should anybody else know? There wasn't any manual that came with me the day I was born. Pretty much the only thing we are certain about is "sex" and "death", two taboos of our society, are what keeps life going. Think about it, sex is what creates life and killing is what feeds it (plants are a form of life too you vegans so you also feed on death!).

Why must life be created and fed in the first place? Again, don't know, will never know. People say they follow a dogma cause they want to know the "truth" but unfortunately that just confuses them even more by introducing beliefs that can't hold water in real life like the whole "Adam and Eve" bullshit and the whole worship some invisible asshole or you die thing. Is there such a thing as a "truth" about life to discover and fulfill? Maybe finding out the "truth" isn't what matters? Maybe we just keep living and an epiphany will arise, contrary to just standing with our thumbs up our Asses praising omnipotent beings we have reasons to believe don't exist anyways. To believe all there is to know about life is summed up in books written before you were born makes life feel so pointless. So we just follow the system and that's it? And then what? Be in Heaven for eternity? And then what? That's all there is to all of existence?

Life will always be beyond comprehension. It's such an abstract concept and thats what makes it interesting enough to wake up the next day for. What is life anyways? A biological phenomenon? Emotional fulfillment? A mere stage of existence? Who knows? Why wonder? We'll never know for sure. Whatever life is, just shut the fuck up about it and live it. Meaning in life, whether you found it or created it, should just be lived. Just don't find it in a cult or create a cult. Ah hell, you know what, go ahead, if fulfilling some cult bullshit is your only excuse to exist, go ahead and exist for it, who am I to judge and say you're failing at living life for following that nonsense. To make that distinction would assume I know what's best for you and that I know you're failing at performing what's best for you. But I don't know what's best for you. I don't know what's best for everybody. Neither do you. There is no objective universal meaning of life that can be confirmed and simplified for mass consumption. We're all just a bunch of shitting/fucking/eating/killing beings competing for the most accessible form of happiness to our genes and chemical reactions in our minds and that form of happiness is different for everyone because everyone has different genes and different chemical reactions in their minds. Whose form of happiness is the best? I dunno. We can't know which is the best or worst, we only know that they are different. Bah, this is confusing, life is to be lived, not wondered about, unless wondering is a form of living...which it can be, because there is no universal right way of life, so uhh whatever.

Wait, why was I typing this shit?...oh yeah, cause of that scientologist motherfucker that deserves a sledgehammer whack between his legs. I guess scientology being worthless is the only universal rule of life.

What's the point?

Jewelry: It doesn't keep you warm in the winter or cold in the summer, they cost a fortune (especially diamonds, which in reality is a worthless rock), and you're just asking for trouble when you wear them in front of certain people, so why the hell wear them? Just for fashion? I don't get women that think jewelry makes them look better. The only thing a woman can wear to make her look better is NOTHING. Women, the less you wear, the better you look, you don't need jewelry.

I can't think of a time in my life when I've ever worn jewelry. Maybe a Ring Pop when I was a kid is the closest thing, but other than that, my idea of fashion is a Slayer shirt and any jeans with no piss stains on it. If, for some weird reason, I find myself married, I wouldn't even wear my wedding ring. I'd probably just make a keychain out of the thing. I hate wearing things on my hand; I don't even wear a wristwatch.

Funerals: Why spend all that money on getting buried? I'd rather have spent all that money on getting killed from excessive sex and alcohol then on my stupid burial. The whole funeral thing is a complete waste of time and money for everyone. When I die, just throw me in a wood chipper or let science fuck with my body. Anything that doesn't involve spending ridiculous amounts of money to bury me near a bunch of other dead fuckers would be better. And another thing, "luxury caskets"? Seriously, they exist. What the hell difference does it make what kind of casket you're in? Is a really shitty casket gonna kill you?

Softcore Porn: Why bother? It's stupid that we need to differentiate between "Hardcore" and "Softcore" porn. The only distinction that needs to be made is it's "Porn" or it's "Bullshit".

Retard education: We as a society waste too much on retard education. Lets face it, they're hopeless. Society invests so much money into retards in hopes that they can be "rehabilitated" and conform to the status-quo way of life, which consists of being a god-fearing, taxpaying, citizen struggling to survive in a rat race doomed to hell. If they have learning disabilities, teaching them is the last thing we need to do to them! Just look at the term; "learning disability", they lack the ability to learn by definition. It's like teaching swimming lessons to someone totally paralyzed below the neck.

Air Jordans for a cripple: I know a kid that can't walk for life. He wears Air Jordans and owns more than one pair. I've been wearing the same pair of crappy shoes for years and this cripple has numerous pairs of $200 shoes that don't even touch the ground???!

Report Drunk Drivers sign: There's a sign that says "Report Drunk Drivers". So you mean someone is allowed to be a shitty driver, as long as alcohol is not responsible? What is the point of specifying that only drunk drivers should be reported? Shouldn't we report ANY bad driving? How the hell is someone able to determine if someone's shitty driving is from alcohol anyways? They could just be old, Asian, and/or female (yep, I just couldn't resist a racist, sexist, age discrimination joke). If that's the case, can we still report them?

Cycle of Filth and Bullshit

About 70% of the Earth is water, but all I see is a vast sea of bullshit. Bullshit at home, bullshit at work, bullshit on tv, bullshit in schools, bullshit at the store..Perhaps the world is just one gigantic bull anus cause bullshit is EVERYWHERE. Don’t you just love how some bicyclists like to ride on the road as if they were a car but then will not follow traffic rules as if they weren't a car? Seriously, what a fucking double standard?! If these bicyclists want to be on the road, then at least follow the rules of the road as well. It’s like these bicyclist assholes are begging to get run over when they pull off dumb shit like driving through red lights. Perhaps bicyclist fucks that start moving on a red light while I’m moving on a green light (which is an accident waiting to happen) really do want to get hit in order to achieve some sort of martyr status. Yes, because we all know a lot of these bicyclists are trying to save the world by preferring a bike, rather than a gas-guzzling car as a means of transportation.

Their deaths on my windshield would simply be for their “green” cause. Well fuck the green cause. The only thing I worry about being green these days is my money. I figure the world is hopeless as is yet it won’t end in my lifetime, so I might as well enjoy abusing it with my car until the day I die. “But what about your children and your children’s children, don’t you want a cleaner world for them?”, you say? Well who said anything about children? What woman would be crazy or drunk (or both) enough to procreate with a socially awkward fuck like me? At this point of my pathetic sex life, I’m more likely to abduct a woman than to marry her…hell, even just simply going on a date with a woman is mission impossible for me. I surf around those dating sites some times and all the women always say the same stupid cliché bullshit, “I like to go outdoors, I like to go to clubs, I like sports, I like all kinds of music like rap and r&b, I want a man that makes at least a six figure salary and owns a house”, it’s like they’re pretty much saying “I like anyone that is not Jose Gabriel Angeles”. Ugh, this is why I relate to serial killers more than regular people.

The hell should I care if the world still exists when I’m long dead. It’s not like I’m the one that caused its downfall, it’s society as a whole. Do you really think moving on bikes instead of cars is improving the world? What about the factories that create those bikes? What about the waste said factories create? It’s pathetic how much waste humanity creates. I work with garbage and everyday at work it is quite the challenge to get rid of all the garbage that was so unnecessary to begin with. Actually, I don’t really get rid of the garbage, I just rearrange it on this pathetic planet so it becomes someone else’s problem. That’s what everything is essentially; passing down the filth so someone else can deal with it until there’s nothing anyone can do to profit some how from the creation/destruction/transportation of the filth.

Garbage with a price tag

(originally from 08-09??)So I was walking in the mall for the first time in a long time just to remind myself how lame I think they are. There's a lot of really useless stuff at places like Spencers. They have all those dimwitted "beer humor" and "so you turned 50" novelty items. A lot of this stuff is marked down and covered with layers of clearance stickers to the point that they're practically giving it away, yet still nobody wants it. I browsed around Target and saw a lot of really useless toys nobody wants. Hot Topic had some pretty useless shit too (actually that whole store is useless for cultural reasons). I started to wonder, where the hell does all this shit go in the end? Not everything can be sold no matter how low you sell it. Is every stupid little unwanted item in a mall suppose to be owned by someone eventually?

Is it all just given/thrown away or recycled to make room for the new stupid shit when nobody buys it when it's on clearance forever? I never worked in retail but I remember my brother worked in Kay Bee Toy store (that place is practically extinct cause of way too many useless unwanted toys). Think he said something about unsold toys getting shipped back to the company, distributor, or whatever when the store needs room and nothing sold on clearance. But then what does the company end up doing with it when they get it back?

What the hell did Galoob do with all those Men In Black toys? What did Immortal Records end up doing with all those unsold copies of that No One cd (No One, the lamest of lame generic nu-metal bands!) What did Sega do with all those unsold Cliffhanger for Game Gear cartridges? What did that one company that was stupid enough to make Wild Wild West toys do with all those Cowboy Will Smith figures? What did Kenner do with all those Starting Lineup toys of Chris Sabo (why did they even make a toy of Chris Sabo to begin with, I shouldn't even know that name!). Atari apparently buried millions of ET games in some desert. so I wouldn't be surprised if there was an entire forest full of Big Bad Beetlborg action figure.

I guess most of the time it all gets re-distributed to those cheap outlet stores and dollar stores (shipping stuff back and forth must be a waste of money). From there some poor people buy it for Christmas. But still, something like a Chris Sabo toy is not exactly something that will be cherished forever and passed on from generation to generation within a family. Eventually it's gonna get broken, lost, or simply thrown away when whoever owns it realizes how stupid it is and why it was so cheap to begin with.

In the end, it's all garbage. Everything you had the opportunity to buy in this world is doomed to be garbage.

I just think it's funny that even unwanted shit had a price tag at some point of its pathetic existence. Did people really believe they were going to make a profit producing such bullshit? I'd like to meet the genius that decided it was a good idea to make Wild Wild West toys...seriously, Wild Wild West toys. I can picture the guy saying, "We're going to be millionaires by capitalizing on a godawful Will Smith movie..and then we'll rule the world!".

Some stuff I just don’t get

“Accident” Children: A lot of parents I know had their children by “accident”. I always ask them, “so did you use a condom?”, “was she on the pill?”, “didn’t you get a vasectomy?”, etc. This is the part I don’t get, they say “No” to every question. Well, if you didn’t use any birth control methods and you fucked a woman, what the hell were you expecting? Are people this stupid that they consider it an “accident” when a woman is pregnant after a man shoots his wad between her legs? This is the equivalent of saying you “accidentally” burned a building down because you deliberately poured gas on a flame. I just don’t get it. I’ve had a condom break in a slut once and pretty much blasted in her. There’s a thing called the morning after pill so there’s just no excuse for “accident children” these days people.

Vitamins and Minerals listed on Nutrition Facts: Sometimes I’ll read the nutrition label of some food to see what essential vitamins and minerals are present. On some food they list all kinds of stuff, from Vitamin A to Z and even stuff like Niacin and Magnesium. It looks like the stuff is packed with nutrition in every bite cause of that huge list…until you read the percentages: Vitamin A 0%, Vitamin C 0%, Vitamin E 0 %, Niacin 0&, Magnesium 0%, etc. If there’s 0% of everything, why the fuck did they even bother listing any of them? Is this some sort of marketing/packaging trick or stupidity for the sake of stupidity? I just don’t get it.

Car Alarms: I don’t get it. Am I the only one that thinks they’re pointless? Is that annoying sound supposed to scare a thief away or just piss off everyone? Whenever I see someone break into a car and that stupid alarm starts, I’m like “hey buddy, can you turn that shit off while you’re at it? thanks”. 99.99% of the time the alarms don’t even go off cause of a thief anyways, it’s usually going off for some bullshit reason like an airplane or other cars driving by it as if the stupid sound fends off airplanes that are already a million miles away and speeding cars that have long passed it. It’s pretty much the boy who cried wolf. When people hear the alarm, they ain’t gonna call the cops to report a carjacking or run to the rescue, they’ll just not give a shit. Anyone with an obnoxious car alarm deserves to get their car broken into/jacked/etc for being such an asshole. How stupid are you to think that a sound will protect your car? If anything, a car with an alarm is just asking to get fucked with. That reminds me, I knew a guy that broke into a safe just cause he wanted the safe. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone, somewhere, broke into a car just to steal its alarm system. It takes an asshole to want what another asshole has.

- I don't get it, there are bags of Tostitos that say "Restaurant style" and restaurants that pride themselves in "homecooking". I have never tasted a tortilla chip at a restaurant that tasted like Tostitos Restaurant Style and vice versa. What exactly is so "Restaurant" tasting about something you buy in the grocery? And with these "homecooking" restaurants, why would anyone go out if they wanted food they could easily have if they stayed home? Plus most of these so-called homecooked meals only taste like homecooking if you had a chef in your house....I just don't get what these advertising terms are suppose to stand for. How the fuck can there be an objective characteristic that defines a "restaurant style" or "homecooking" taste?