TOO MANY PEOPLE

So, as usual, I was on a long hard quest for a parking space after a long hard day of stupid work. I asked myself, “why isn’t there EVER enough parking?” But then I realized something. The problem isn’t that there isn’t enough parking. No. The problem is there’s TOO MANY PEOPLE. Aren’t those 3 simple words (TOO MANY PEOPLE) the reason behind every serious problem facing society? Unemployment isn’t because there aren’t enough jobs; it’s because of TOO MANY PEOPLE. Pollution? Poverty? Waste? World Hunger? Riots? Viruses? Traffic? Long lines at the post office? Pathetic school system? Overcrowded Prisons? Christmas Shopping? Taxes? Parties that suck? Unfulfilled dreams in a competitive world? Never getting the classes I needed in college? Something cool being sold out? TOO MANY PEOPLE! How about the big one, War? You guessed it, TOO MANY PEOPLE! Think about it, every war in history has always been over land, and why do people need land? Whether for the land’s resources or for the land itself, it’s still to accommodate for TOO MANY PEOPLE! On the surface, war seems like it would actually be a solution to TOO MANY PEOPLE, but actually in the long run, after the war is over and the occupying forces finish raping the newly conquered land, it contributes to the TOO MANY PEOPLE problem.

My mother heard me talking to myself about problems and TOO MANY PEOPLE being synonymous. She bumped in and said “what about abortion?” I was like, “you idiot, that’s a SOLUTION, I’m talking about PROBLEMS. Then I started to shout, “You should have aborted me when you had the chance bitch”. That woman ruined my life by giving birth to me. Totally unforgivable.

Enough of my family drama, basically my point is, TOO MANY PEOPLE keep FUCKING UP EVERYTHING. I can’t ride the subway without being trampled by a crowd of piss-stenched human filth. I can’t play my music loud cause too many fucking people with brittle dollar-store glass eardrums live by me. I can’t reach some really hot escorts/whores cause they’re fully booked every time I wanna fuck them. I can’t take a piss wherever I want to whenever I please cause too many people are gonna bitch about it. I can’t drive without suddenly stopping cause too many people like to jaywalk. I can’t do my grocery in under an hour cause there’s too many people in front of me that take fucking forever (but then when it’s my turn to pay for my shit it just takes a second, what the hell?). There’s too many “I can’ts” cause of TOO MANY PEOPLE. People fuck up other people. I’m no exception to this cause I too am just another fucking human being. To other people I’m part of the “too many people” problem. I’m no better than anyone else and they’re no better than me. I’m just living to fuck people over cause they live to fuck me over. That’s how it is. That’s how it’s always going to be. Before I was born and after my death, too many people will fuck over too many people. Just the way life is: fuck everyone, fuck yourself, or just fuck it all and fuck off already before I make you fuck off.