Green means go, red means stop. Drive at the posted speed limit. Are these not such basic concepts? Leave it to humanity to fuck it up though, like how they fucked up the air we breathe and the food we eat it. You don't really know how stupid the human race is until you witness the driving errors of this moronic species of life I am sometimes embarrassed to be a part of. If I could choose to be a new form of life, I'd be anything but a human. But anyways, here are my top 3 kinds of drivers that piss me off.
1. The "I can't tell the difference between a solid and broken line and I'm allergic to signaling" driver. I hate when I'm just minding my own business on the road and assume everyone knows how a solid line looks. I'll be going my merry way when suddenly some jackass starts merging dangerously close to me before the solid line on the freeway turns broken a couple more hundred feet ahead. If you're going to pull this nonsense off in front of me, at least SIGNAL, dipshit. Seems like the act of signaling is something they're allergic to. Or perhaps these shitty drivers think everyone else on the road is a psychic and can predict his/her/its retarded lane changing. Well, I'm no psychic, but I sure as hell can predict these fuckers are gonna one day get mangled in a horrible freak accident if they keep up with this bullshit driving.
2. The "I'm too important to waste 10 seconds of my life stopped behind you as you let cars/pedestrians/anyone-with-the-right-of-way go through first, so I'm going to drive around you and speed like an asshole" driver. This has happened before, I've let people cross the street or cars on a green light go (it's usually when you're on a red light in the right turn lane that these fuckers are in a hurry, as if you're not suppose to stop at all on red when you're in the right turn lane). Suddenly some dickhead behind me will start honking their horns like their lives depended on it. When they figure I won't budge no matter how many times they curse and honk their horn, they try to drive around me...which is just an accident waiting to happen (in fact someone did almost get in an accident from pulling off this shit). If I'm stopped, most likely there is a good reason why I'm stopped you idiot. Too bad the fucking impatient idiot behind me thinks people just stop for no real reason and is in a rush so drives around and almost runs over the person I was letting cross or almost gets hit by the cars (with the right of way) I was letting pass. These people always rushing, don't they realize they're just rushing to an early grave?
3. The "There's a lot of parking further down a little but I'm too lazy to walk 3 feet to the store so I'm going to wait for someone with a close parking to move, even if it means I'm going to create a huge traffic jam". Usually you'll find these morons in the parking lots of Targets or Costcos. To them, walking is their Achilles heel. I've managed to avoid these people cause I know the parking lots pretty well at Target and Costco so they're not really a problem for me now, but when I was a newb driver nearly a decade ago, these people would always screw me over. It would actually take longer to wait for these dumbasses to finally get their geographically perfect parking than to actually shop...especially during Christma$.
Well, there are more types of shitty drivers, but I'll stop there before my sanity starts slipping.
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